Helping a Child to Settle Into Your Home

All children will have been given information about you, your family and your home before they come to stay with you, unless it is an emergency arrangement. You may have been asked to complete a  Foster Carer Profile which will include photos of you and your home. The child may have also visited you before the decision for them to stay.

This will hopefully help in settling a child in, but all children will cope differently.

You should be provided with sufficient information to help you care for the child. If you do not feel you have enough information, please speak with your Supervising Social Worker prior to the placement who will be able to contact the child’s social work team.

It is recommended that you talk to all other children in the household about the new child to help them adjust also.

Some children will need more reassurance than others; some may be withdrawn or show different behaviour to express how they feel.

It is important that you are calm and reassure the child and set clear boundaries. If the child is withdrawn give them space but also offer times when they can talk to you or spend time with you.

It may be important to give some attention to the child's physical appearance and belongings.  You may need to get their belongings from home or their previous carer. Obtained from home or a previous carer;

• Renewed; or
• Freshly acquired, including clothes, toiletries, educational equipment (a school bag), etc.

However, this may require sensitivity and patience in some areas.

If they only stay for a short while , when the child 'moves on' make sure that their belongings are moved with appropriate luggage. A child's belongings should never be transported in bin-bags or other inappropriate containers.

This time is an adjustment for all in the household. Talk to your Supervising Social Worker if you have any concerns and record clearly.

Your own family will also take time to adjust. Your children may feel neglected by you because some of your time is given to another. It will be useful to look at all this when you are developing your Safer Caring family agreement. See Developing a Safer Caring Plan. You should explain to the child the general rules of the house and what is expected of them.

The following information will be useful and should be gathered from the child's social worker and parents, or previous carers where possible:

• What the child prefers to be called;
• What do they like to do?
• If it is a very young child, do they have a dummy or a comforter - like a teddy or a blanket? What is it called? Older children may have a comforter but may be embarrassed about anyone knowing;
• Clothes and belongings are important; if they bring any with them don't throw them away, (some items may be a part of the child's memories). As appropriate, encourage them to choose with you what to wear;
• A child may be uncomfortable bathing or undressing in front of a stranger – be sensitive and find out what the child is used to;
• People who are important to the child and their relations to him including friends;
• Food - likes, dislikes, routine, special religious or cultural preferences;
• Bedtime routines;
• Skincare;
• Pets, likes and dislikes and fears;
• Hobbies and interests, clubs and activities;
• Fears;
• Medical information and allergies;
• Any communication difficulties;
• Any specific equipment e.g. if the child has a disability.

If the arrangement is for a Disabled Child help the child settle, you can:

• Speak to the child's Social Worker to get as much information as possible about the child and their disability:
  • If need be seek specialist advice/feedback from other professionals who know the child, (e.g. a medical or CAMHS practitioner; teacher, etc.);
  • Treat them as children firstly and foremostly;
  • Be clear about the child's strengths;
  • Discuss with the child/young person the areas that you have an 'enabling role' with them.
• Be clear with the child where they will need your assistance, support and time – seeing some of these as areas for their future development;
• Ensure you have support from your Supervising Social Worker;
• Look at where there are relevant & appropriate community parents'/carers' support groups;
• Have realistic, expectations of the child and set clear boundaries;
• Stress the positive things a child can do;
• Praise the child, and reassure them (as appropriate);
• Encourage the child to take part in a wide variety of activities;
• Enable/support them to play and mix with other children;
• Help them become as independent as possible;
• Engage in training opportunities that will broaden your skills.

Carers have access to an e-learning course on Preparing to Welcome a Foster Child.