Keeping Memories

It is difficult to know where you are going if you don’t know where you came from!

For most children and young people, their birth family is the place where they have all the knowledge and memories about the child. Children separated from their families do not have daily access to this information about their background.

It becomes more difficult for them to develop a strong sense of self and to understand how the past may influence present behaviours. Without this awareness, it will be more difficult for them to make conscious choices and to take responsibility for their own behaviours.

It is important that children and young people have a good understanding of their background, and you will help this process from the day the child is placed with you.

An overarching principle in East Sussex Children’s Social Care is that understanding a child’s life story is held in mind through all work and underpins every aspect of practice. You have a very important role in this as their foster carer and you should be supported by your Supervising Social Worker and the child’s Social Worker. You should record the story of the child's stay with you as fully as possible, including:

• Descriptions of what the child was like when they arrived, what they liked and disliked;
• Details of development (e.g. learning to swim);
• Special memories of the child;
• Birthdays, Christmas and other family celebrations/outings/holidays etc. - photos, favourite places etc.
• Details and photos of your family (including extended family), home, pets etc.
• School - photos, certificates, reports, photos of and stories from teachers;
• Contact visits;
• Significant illnesses;
• Funny stories;
• Photos and video clips of birth family with your family;
• Crafts/pictures/work completed in your home/school/playgroup.

The above work contributes to their Life Story. The child by their second My Voice Matters Meeting may have a Permanence Plan which will start to look at how a permanent alternative family can be found including considering adoption. Gathering memories will be vital as this progresses.

The child’s Social Worker will be responsible for ensuring that a child has a narrative that is age-appropriate. They may make a life story book about their journey so far either in isolation or alongside direct work when a child has been in care for a significant period. You will likely be asked to contribute to this with photos/ memories but this is in addition to the above, more detailed book/photos/ objects about their time living with you.

Life story books and any direct work should be sensitive and responsive to the child’s identity and family history. It is not about blaming others for what has happened to the child. See also: Identity.

This should include all children’s achievements and should be accessible to the child. For example, if the child has a disability that the life story work is present in an accessible format.

You should keep all memories in a memory box or book specifically for the child/young person.

You may also be asked to support with direct work with the child around their life story. While life story work is the responsibility of the child’s social worker, the child will inevitably ask you questions in between direct sessions. An agreed narrative/ language with others in the team around the child can be helpful to support this and you should keep a record of any questions or changes in behaviour for children undertaking direct work.

There is training available regarding life story work. Please consult the training brochure for the latest information.

The following resources may also be helpful:

• Creative Life Story Work;
• The Child’s Own Story – Richard Rose;
• Life Story Work - CoramBAAF;
• Therapeutic Life Story Work with Richard Rose;
• Research in Practice: Life Story Work Practice Tool – which can be accessed by your SSW and CSW.